we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So gin and wine won't be happening again
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
