I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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