Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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