i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
