they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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