i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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