does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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