You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
