I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
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