I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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