How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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