He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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