also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He passed out mid-signature
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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