i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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