Hey man sorry I got all grabby
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
