Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
