Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
