i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
