They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
