it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
