i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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