We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
