If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
