DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
