If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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