which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
