Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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