Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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