yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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