so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
