I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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