If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
