You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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