is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
