He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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