Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
