You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
he was CRYING into my vagina
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
