covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
its not stalking. its research.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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