Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
His nipple licking is glorious
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