So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm sobbing to NWA
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
