Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
