On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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