too bad you live with your parents still
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
