Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
