I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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