OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
