By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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