I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
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