overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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