Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
tonight lets celebrate not being married
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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