You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
